Forgive and forget?

The holidays always bring about soul searching. My parents will be glad to know that I finally have been putting that philosophy degree to use. :-) The topic: forgiveness. Can one forgive without condoning what happened? What if the person doesn't see what they did as wrong or doesn't want to accept any responsibility for the situation, can they still be forgiven?

On a suggestion, I listened a sermon from Dan Southerland from Westside Family Church. The four points he made really made sense:
1) Forgiveness is not based on merit.
2) Forgiveness is not based on apology.
3) Forgiveness is not based on repentance.
4) Forgiveness is a choice based on grace.

Forgiveness is foremost an internal matter. It is choosing to let go the feelings of being wronged. Sounds easy but this can be especially difficult when there is no apology or repentance, however forgiveness has little to do with the other person but rather is something you do for yourself. It helps you move on and just maybe makes a deposit in your karma account.

Does this mean if we forgive that we condone? This is where I struggled most and was glad to learn the answer is no, forgiving is not condoning. In fact, you can only forgive because you felt the action was wrong.

This logic leads to the next question: If we forgive, do we just move on like nothing happened? Unfortunately, forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. Reconciliation means restoring the relationship and involves two parts: 1) forgiveness and 2) penance. You can forgive someone but if they don't feel they did anything wrong or apologize, you can't reconcile. Bottomline, you can only get there halfway by yourself.

Want some further reading: Mayo Clinic on Forgiveness

Whoa, pretty heavy topic for a Monday. Where's Dirty Dancing when you need it?

Size does matter

It is cold and dreary but I am happy as can be. As of today, I have officially hit weight loss of 20 pounds! Hooray!!! This puts me at a weight I haven't seen since...well, a long time. Freshman year in college maybe?

Yes, I know it is not the number of pounds that matters but the change in size and I have had a significant change in that area as well. However, there is still something uplifting about seeing THAT number on the scale...as wrong as it is.

I have grown to really love my workouts. It is MY private time -- I find I get a sense of calm just by entering the health club and smelling the combination of aromatheraphy from the spa, chlorine from the pool, sanitizer from the cario machines, and brewing coffee from the cafe. And I don't care whatsoever how silly a 40-year old mother of two may look running full throttle interval sprints around the track. Feel free to mock me if you can catch me. Ah I love it all.

Unfortunately, the goal of "Linda Hamilton Terminator Arms" is still a work in progress. Think I may need to modify that goal to something a bit more realisitc since I don't have six hours a day to train or a personal chef to cook the food needed for that extreme. However, a determined gal can still try.

Well, I am off for now. There is an arc trainer and some weights calling my name and Fergalicious is queued up on my Shuffle...