Hi. My name is Jill and I am a bad mother.

Everybody now: HI JILL.

You know you try your best to be a good mother. And I really do try. I try to give lots of love and encouragement, oodles of hugs and too many kisses, discipline when needed, slay closet monsters, and cook using all four food groups for dinner. Ah, all is right with the world. That is until my heart is ripped out of my chest for being the worst mom ever.

In an effort to speed our departure to school and work yesterday, I asked the boys to take a large Hefty bag and go to all the trash cans in the house and gather the trash to help mommy take out the trash for trash day.

The boys, being energetic helpers, are excited by this newly bestowed responsibility. Off they go and gather away. From room to room they run and put the trash from each of their rooms, the bathroom, the kitchen, etc. all into the Hefty bag.

That's when I hear it. "MOMMY! MOOOOOOOOMMY!!!!" I run to stairs afraid someone must have severed an arm or other major catastrophe. It is worse.

There stands Luke, eyes wet with tears as he holds up a sheet of paper, covered with drawings of red colored hearts and the Kindergarten penciled message "I Love You Mom" on it. "Mom, I found this in the TRASH. I made this for you because I love you. Did you throw it away?"

Gulp. I suddenly start sweating, my heart racing.

See, a week ago I finally cleaned off the back door of all the magnet-adhered art, letters, notes, soccer schedules as it was so cluttered we couldn't find the door. I did save some in a portfolio I started when he was a baby. But the boys write notes every day (which I cherish) but should I save every note? Most I put in the recycling on days when the boys aren't home. I do it sneaky-like, in private so as not to hurt their feeling and to try to avoid this exact moment.

Thinking fast, I said, "What?! This was in the trash! You are kidding! You know what happened? That mean AT&T technician who has been working on our computer and TV must have moved it from my desk to the trash. What a bad man! Give it here and let me tape it up on the door."

Do I feel bad about throwing that tech guy under the bus? Not at all. But my feeling of being a bad mother may take a while to get over.

Wii Scholarship Fund

Being a working mom with two kids, much of our income the past six years has gone to daycare expenses. You know it is bad when the tax preparer at H&R Block gasps when he sees your annual daycare cost. We made this choice so hey, it is what it is but we often joke that we are spending our kids' college savings NOW so they better plan to study hard in school and get a scholarship to help pay the way.

Well, after last night, I have a new plan. Last night, Luke, age 6, was playing Wii bowling at Grandpa Timbo's and scored a 219. Yes, that's right, at 219. The kid hit spare, after spare, after spare interspersed with strikes. So in looking online, yep, you can go to college fully paid on a bowling scholarship!

Guess I shouldn't be surprised. Remember this video from last April?



So if you can't reach us, we are at the bowling alley or in my parents' basement working on our college plan.

DOT com

Of course I know things have changed since I was a kid however I admit I was surprised when Jake, my recently-turned FOUR year old, asked me how to spell something.

Ok, the asking how to spell is not the surprising part. See, Jake wants to know how to spell EVERYTHING. "Mom, how to do you spell 'When are we going to the hospital to see Angie.'" He wants to know how to spell the WHOLE sentence and then wants to be sure he can repeat it back to you. I love his enthusiasm but it can try your patience at times.

Both Jake and his brother got journals and pencils for Christmas. You may think it is sort of crazy to get a four year old a journal but they both really love to write notes for us and let me tell you, Jake's writing is good as some 6-7 year olds.

So back to the spelling. The other day, Jake was busy writing something in his new journal. He looks up, pauses, frowns and we have this conversation:

Jake: "Mom, how do you spell DOT."
Me: "Spell what?"
Jake" "DOT."
Me: "What do mean by DOT?"
Jake: "You know...like in WWW DOT COM?"

Yep, Jake was writing a URL (www.com) and wanted to be sure to get the DOT correct. Am I old or is that just crazy?